1: Booger Nose: I got this nickname when I was in 1st grade. I was riding the bus home and must have been caught reaching for something lodged in my nose. For the next three years, all the kids shouted “Booger nose, Booger nose.”
2: T-Bone: My sophomore year of high school I shaved my head while on the basketball team. After shaving my head, I found out that I have what appears to be a “T” in my head. Hence the name T-Bone. I wore a hat for the next year after that experiment
3:The Suchi song: Just to show that I was not always the victim, here is a moment that I am not so proud of. My freshman year of high school, I helped Jon Kupper make fun of a girl in our class named Suchita. Suchita’s nickname was Suchi, and we had a song about her
“My name is Suchi and I like to eat,
My favorite food is (slap leg) Horse Meat.
I like dinner,
I like lunch,
I eat them all watching the Brady bunch.
Because I’m hungry …
I’m hungry
Bobby, Cindy, Peter and Jan
I cook them all in a frying pan”
Even as I write that, I feel terrible. I guess I deserved far worse than being call Unibrow guy.
11 comments:
Ha ha ha. This post made me laugh out loud. Especially the song.
When I was in 5th grade there was a group of girls who were particularly mean to me. They always teased me and made fun of me because I wasn't very smart and lets face it I was ugly. I will never forget that. But I am best friends with one of those girls now. I guess I have forgiven her. But sometimes I bring it up to make her feel bad. Ha ha ha.
ps- I don't think you have a unibrow. If you do, I have never noticed!
Ah, I just thought of one more good one.
When I worked in the schools a Kindergarten student came up and asked me what all those red dots on my face were.
I harshly replied they are zits and you will get them too one day!
My last name rhymes with Fartin'
Fartin' Martin.
Nuff said.
Luckily I never really experienced kids being mean to me. Or if I did, I have just repressed it all and can't remember it. Kids called me "midget" when I was in elementary school, but for some reason that didn't bother me. And I too have never noticed that you have a unibrow.
NERD-HERD
In 8th grade I was in an "interdisciplinary honors" class. Rather than switching classes like the rest of the school, there was a group of us (about 30) that stayed together for all of our classes. We rotated between teachers for what were supposed to be accelerated and connected classes. My friends teased me about being in the "nerd-herd." I have a friend who still, almost 15 years later, refers to me as part of the nerd herd.
GIMPY:
At the end of 10th grade I went skiing and injured my knee pretty badly and had to wear one of those big ugly immobilizing brace things for a couple of months. At the beginning of 11th grade I got a stress fracture in my shin from playing soccer. I could still play in games and practices, but in-between I had to wear a boot (plastic, removable cast). With these two injuries back to back, it seemed like I was always limping... hence the name "Gimpy."
-Nicolle
I can't think of any nicknames I had except for Carebear, and my feelings were never hurt by that one. I did have one memorable experience though...
I was in the fifth grade and had just become the proud owner of glasses. I was proud, because my wonderful mother had convinced me of how truly beautiful I looked in them and that I was extremely fashionable. She told me that having glasses three inches thick was just fine and that everybody would love them....
Fifth grade recess, my first day with glasses... A boy named Jerry walked up to me while I was swinging on a bar. He gave me a nice big smile and just as I smiled back threw a rock at my glasses and called me four eyes. My glasses broke and I cried for a couple of days.
It's funny to remember this story now, because on Friday I am getting LASIK. : )
And...I have also never noticed a unibrow.
I have really hairy arms, so in middle school kids (actually, boys- you can imagine how crushed I was) would call me wolf arms. And I was called things like goody two shoes and stuff throughout my entire school career because I was the only mormon, but that didn't bother me like wolf arms. And next time you see me and I'm studying your face, it's to see if you really do have a unibrow. But even if you do, its ok- I "dated" a guy who had a unibrow in high school, and not only that, I had so many girls who hated me because they were in love with him.
I was always bigger than everyone in school, so they never picked on me much... Then there was Matt, my brother who some of you know, and who is 2 years older than me. He used to mercilessly name me nickname after nickname and just absolutly crush me. He could never name me anything cool like "Hollywood" or "Tbonz" or "Jomo" or anything cool like that. He named me Jeramiah Johnson, which in turn begat Ponson, which then begat Ponson Cheese, which begat Head Cheese. Then I became Hensley, then Baggs (for some reason the mother of all insulting nicknames to me, I don't know why.), then Bagley then Rapid Delivery, the list seemed it would never end. Looking back at all of these, I have no idea why they were so distressing, there is a lot worse I could have been dubbed. But, at some points, I really believed I was going to end up needing counseling. I actually barley force myself to type this response. I hope you all enjoy my Old Testament style post.
My maiden name was Gerber, so I got lots of baby food comments throughout my life.
But, the worst name I got called was really mean. My dad works for the Indian Health Service, so we lived on a Chippewa-Cree reservation in Montana. For my 2nd grade year, I rode the bus from the reservation into the nearest city for school. I had the biggest crush on a boy named Troy and one day at recess was chasing him around the playground. He turned around and said, "Get away from me, you stupid Indian!" Oh my gosh! That was SO harsh. And I'm not even Indian! And I'm so white that I'm surprised anyone could mistake me for an Indian. It was my first experience with racism and it was mis-directed, but it still hurt.
Let me go grab a kleenex.
I have been made fun of my whole life. It started in pre-school when the kids would chant "Michael Michael motorcyle, turn the key and watch him pee!" That was back in the days when everyone was on a first name basis. Once people found out my last name was Aagard, their creative juices really started going. That yielded classics like "Egghead," "Right Guard," and "Gaygard." Then, once my nose started growing before the rest of my face, I got the clever nicknames "Gonzo" and "Schnozman." On my high school basketball team I was the "Mormon cracka." I was known to a certain friend as "Slim" back when I actually was, but he still calls me that now and since I'm so far in the other direction, I take it as a personal affront.
But then one day Shelley came along and called me the sexiest man alive, and even after all these years of abuse, that's what sticks with me most...
Oh yeah, and the young men of the ward still call me "French guy," probably mostly because I'm not cool enough for them to know my name... and the fact that my unibrow is light blond and unnoticeable.
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